Wow! I don't know whether I should laugh or cry, maybe both, but my sweet baby K is 6 months old today! I can't believe how quickly it's gone. Maybe it's the sleepless nights or the feedings or the diaper changes, but the time just flew by. I'm a bundle of emotions today, proud of how she's grown and all the new milestones she's reached/reaching and sad about losing these moments. Sad that being a parent is really one big exercise in letting go. Sad that one day she won't think that I'm the funniest person ever, that I won't be the center of her world and sad that (I can't believe I'm writing this) that we are getting closer to being done with breastfeeding. And because I am this pile of emotions today, this post will likely be a little jumbled. So here are some of the things that I'm thinking as we mark this milestone in the life of my first child:
We had Baby K's 6 month well child visit today. She's long and lean and the doctor said she's just perfect. He is so supportive of breastfeeding and has never once questioned her weight, which is such a relief since I think a lot of breastfeeding mommas worry about that. He said that he believes that the percentile scales are skewed a bit because so many babies are formula fed and that he's not one bit worried that Baby K is in the 21 percentile for weight, but 78 for height. He said to expect the weight percentile to drop even further as she gets older since only 10% of babies are still breastfed after 6 months.
When I set out with the whole breastfeeding thing, I wasn't sure how it would all work out. So many mommas try and can't for one reason or another. When things started going well, I made it a goal to keep it up for 6 months - basically until we introduced solid foods. Well, I'm here 6 months later and I'm not ready to wean yet. I have so many feelings about breastfeeding, but mostly I'm just proud because it was tough at times and a huge sacrifice and quite possibly the most unselfish thing that I've ever done. Please don't think that I'm saying that formula feeding is selfish. I know that each mom has their own reasons for choosing breast or bottle or both or whatever and that as long as baby and mom are healthy and happy, it doesn't matter. I chose to breastfeed, but I don't think that makes me a better mother.
I despise the nasty things that are said between the two camps and wish that we could all just do what we feel is right without being judged. I read a comment on That Wife where a woman attacked her for not feeding her baby the way God intended and I wanted to throw up. Jenna's struggle to breastfeed broke my heart and she so eloquently expressed her sorrow over it not working out and someone went for her jugular. Ish. I've also read a comment from a formula feeding mom on another blog that said that she found breastfeeding creepy and sexual. It's nasty out there, really really nasty.
Where was I - yeah, so I'm not ready to wean yet. I'm not sure how much longer I'll feel like that. Maybe ask me after Baby K gets teeth. Either way, my goal is achieved and I stand with the 10% of mommies out there still worrying about supply and wearing ugly nursing bras and clothes that allow for access. Which leads me to wonder - Why the hell can't they make cute nursing clothes? I tried to buy a couple of dresses and a bunch of them look matronly and dowdy. I've found a couple cute dressed that are non-nursing, but do the trick. Jcrew and Old Navy had a few options and they work, but I'm still sad that my options are so limited.
This first six months as a mother has been amazing and I know that the next 6 months will be even more wonderful. I finally feel like I'm getting the hang of this motherhood thing. Just in time for everything to change I'm sure!
Happy half-birthday to my beautiful girl. I love you more than I can express and you truly light up our lives.
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