Milestones and Breastfeeding

My baby is getting so big! She was 6lbs 9oz at birth and at one month old, she's starting to grow out of some of her newborn sized clothes. She also took a bottle of breastmilk from her daddy for the first time this weekend. I'm trying not to feel sad about these milestones, and know that we're a long way off from putting her on the school bus to kindergarten, but man, it's tough. I am thrilled that she's thriving, especially since I'm breastfeeding and sometimes feel like I'm under a microscope when it comes to her weight gain etc. Both my husband and I were not breastfed and our parents are incredibly naive about the whole thing. I've been asked how I know she's getting enough. My mom looked directly at me and told me that she wished she could feed her when she had to hand Baby K over to be nursed. It's kind of a bummer when you don't feel supported, but I'm proud of my decision to breastfeed, and while I don't think it is wrong to bottle feed by any means, I know this is the best decision for our family. I NEVER thought I would enjoy nursing my child as much as I do. There is something so sweet about it and it makes me really proud of my body's capabilities.

Breastfeeding is hard work though and last week I missed pumping (I've been trying to get a good freezer supply going) for four days and when I went to pump, I got nothing. As a result, I began worrying that Baby K wasn't getting enough milk from me, that my supply was disappearing and that I was essentially starving my child. I ignored the fact that her hewborn onesies were getting too small, that I could hear her swallowing while at the breast and that she is exceeding the peeing and pooping guidelines. I know a lot of this stems from one of the pediatricians in our office giving me a hard time about Baby K's weight gain being off a half an ounce and also that she had a tough time latching on when she was first born resulting in the use of a nipple shield for the first few weeks (she's latching like an old pro now).

Baby K had a very stubborn case of jaundice. Side note: apparently breadfeeding can delay the leveling out of bilirubin levels. We were in the ped office every couple of days to have my poor daughter's heel poked and blood squeezed out. Can you tell that I am traumatized by having to go through that over ten times? Hate seeing my sweet little baby cry. Each time she was, of course, weighed. Our regular ped never had a problem with her weight gain, saying that it was right on track...but one time, we had to see a different doctor and Baby K was off a half an ounce from the ounce a day weight gain that is supposed to occur. So, instant questions, has my milk come in? (yes), how often am I feeding her? (at least every three hours) - all served to make this first time mom doubt her decision to breastfeed. Seriously, they preach and preach about how breast is best and then do things to make you feel like you're doing things wrong. It's a touchy topic and I think a lot of doctors would be well served to take some lactation support training.

Anyhoo, back to my rough week filled with doubts. I broke down in tears after a morning pumping session that resulted in maybe a quarter once and called a local breastfeeding support center. Gosh those lactation consultants are awesome. She said that your supply can change quickly and since I had missed pumping, my supply had probably adjusted to what my baby was taking. She told me to get back to pumping twice a day again and eventually my supply would adjust and I could stockpile once again. She was right, that day, I pumped and was indeed getting a couple of ounces once again!

Back to putting my mind at ease as far as Baby K's weight gain, I ended up buying a baby scale (yes I know it may not match up to the one at the doctor's office), but I wanted to have an idea of where we are for my peace of mind. Since we are in the heart of cold and flu season, I am not really into making unnecessary trips into the peds office - even with the well child waiting room, you still have to walk through where the sick kiddos are sitting to get back to the exam rooms. If you're breastfeeding and feeling a little worried about how your baby is gaining weight, for about $50, you can get a decent baby scale that will put your worried mind at ease. If nothing else, weighing your baby on your scale regularly will at least let you know that he or she is gaining weight at the pace they should be. Here is the scale I bought. Yes, it was from Amazon again! I really like it, it's pretty easy to use, but the Kg/Lbs mode was a little confusing because the digital display doesn't indicate which mode you're in. We ended up having to weigh a bottle of pasta sauce that indicated a weight in order to be sure we had it in the right mode.

So, what did I learn from the week that was? I learned to have more confidence in myself as a mother and in the decisions I make for my child. Now if only I could get my father-in-law to quit telling me how difficult raising a child can be amongst other annoying things, but that's a whole other topic ;).